How to Build Self Confidence for Stress Free Management

self confidence is like a river

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Self Confidence at work

People Management and Self Confidence

Irrespective of the business type, few jobs could provide as much satisfaction as managing a happy group of people. If they turn up each day, and carry out your work instructions because of how well you interact with them, management can be a very pleasant experience.

On the other hand, attempting to manage a group of workers, who are unhappy for whatever reasons, can be a very dark and stressful event. Buying a business, getting promoted because of a seniority policy, the arbitrary decision of a selection committee, or job performance being better than others, can all lead to supervisory or management appointments.

Many of those situations may place people in a position to manage others under conditions over which they have had no desire, or control. Notwithstanding any person’s ambitions or otherwise to supervise, successfully managing people at work requires a unique set of skills.

The intent here will be to provide a process of self confidence development that demonstrates how managing others can only, and easily, be done when we can successfully manage ourselves. This process will deliver success in both areas.

Self confidence allows people to effectively manage their own ambitions, and additionally, it will show the management of others can be a rewarding, pleasant, and painless experience. Self confidence will also reveal to people any previous unhelpful decisions or actions of their own, which may be worth avoiding, when exercising management responsibilities. If we have no doubts about how to successfully manage ourselves and others, we’re much more likely to follow that pathway.

Delivering that certainty will be done by explaining how self confidence works, and how it is used to successfully manage employees.

What Is Self Confidence ?

Self-confidence is the mental attitude of having trust in, respect for, and reliance on, your own judgement and/or abilities. It embodies the confidence you have in yourself, and it can develop through two different streams.

The first stream is via achievements and the many other external providers. Those providers, associated with expectations of management success, and reflecting an interest in your career or business, could in part include family support, security of employment, and genuinely supportive friends or associates. Naturally if all of those providers are in place you’re already doing quite well for yourself.


However, even if all those supporting providers of external self confidence are available, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re working sufficiently for you to successfully manage yourself, or others. The pressures and stress associated with living a normal life could make managing yourself, let alone others, a difficult exercise to complete. It is also possible that some people still believe that the best management practices are to give instruction and expect compliance.

That brings us to how self confidence is connected to managing people at work. Self confidence gives you the ability to satisfy yourself that you have correctly identified all the management interaction issues that need confronting. Once recognised, those issues can be dealt with, creating peace of mind and a happy, healthy, and safe work environment.

Further, self confidence will allow you an opportunity to discover and enjoy many other areas within your life, because of the positive attitude it delivers. That breakthrough will be completed by exposure to the second stream of self-confidence.

That stream is the internal development process, which assists you to learn more about yourself. The difference between the two streams of self confidence is that one is delivered by achievements, balanced with all the other external providers, against any perceived failures.

The other stream delivers a mental attitude of belief in your self-worth and abilities that remains unshakeable, irrespective of any self-imposed limits for success, particularly those related to management of others. Both streams are important; however to discover the best options for managing people at work, we need them to work in unison. The reason for that lies in the strength of our natural abilities to overcome the enemies of self confidence.

All of our achievements, successes in life and support from family and friends, can build some defences against self-doubt, uncertainty and fear. On the other hand, those supporting comments successes and achievements often need to be repeated constantly to maintain that defence. Consider how those enemies attempt to control us, and you can see the difficulties we can have in maintaining a defence against their destruction of our self confidence.

Self-doubt is usually imposed by the comments of others. As an example, suppose you’re supervising a team of workers who, for logistical reasons, all need to work together for the next phase of a project to progress. Some of the team are tardier than others in returning to their work station after a break. You mention to various colleagues that you will speak to the employees about the need for teamwork. One of your closest peers makes the comment to you, “You’re going to ask them to lift their performance – I’d like to see that”.


It may just be a throwaway line reflecting a cautious, yet caring concern for the success of your supervisory responsibility. On the other hand, if one or more colleagues make the same quip within minutes, self-doubt may begin to creep in.


However, let’s assume there have not been any comments from anyone, and the arranged time to speak to your team has arrived. This is where uncertainty can begin its work. Uncertainty, closely related to self-doubt, is often a figment of our own thoughts and does not require any comments from others.

You know you have a responsibility to express your concerns, irrespective of the fact that this is a good team, crucial for the successful completion of the project. You’re getting nervous because you’re facing them alone.


Reinforcement from others, along with positive reminders from our own thoughts of any recognised professional, supervisory skills, can in the short term build some barriers against that uncertainty and any ensuing fear.


However, even if we have constantly achieved, and had that reinforced by our own thoughts, and by positive comments from others, there can be further difficulties. The self-confidence enemies, uncertainty, self-doubt and fear, may not be working alone to disrupt our plans for more cooperative teamwork.


The enemies of self confidence represented by conflict of conscience, guilt and arrogance will not be affected by our achievements, or the comments of others. As examples, those three enemies work by creating conflict of conscience questions over why we feel a need to confront a team that is normally so efficient.


Further, they can create guilt about any past breaks where we ourselves may have returned late. Finally, they can encourage us to arrogantly believe we will succeed in getting cooperation because the team should be expected to just follow the direction of management.


It is only the internal development processes that can effectively overcome all self-confidence enemies as one. They develop, and deliver, self confidence at the same time. Therefore to get the balance between the streams of self confidence correct – and we will – it is important to explain how the internal development process works…

To learn more, or to purchase books, go to Self-Confidence for Managing People at Work.

Tony is a Personal Development Consultant from Australia, who travels the world conducting private consultations, seminars, speaking engagements, and successful business training on managing self-confidence. He is particularly sought after by those seeking to improve relationships in their personal and professional lives.


Tony has produced an eight book series on Self Confidence. Each book individually deals with specific stages of life. However, the real benefit of the series is that apart from explaining how Self Confidence works, they all include Tony’s proven processes for how to gain, and maintain, Self Confidence forever.


Tony Richards-Author of “Self Confidence for…” Series

Expert Personal Development Consultant, Speaker & Business Trainer

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